bandom fic

2008-06-07T00:17:07Z

The Incredibly-Creepy-Sex-Tape Blog. (many pairings, NC-17)

It starts as a joke, just like everything inevitably starts when you're friends with Pete Wentz. It starts as a joke with a couple dozen beers and an outrageously bad fully-clothed re-enactment of the Paris Hilton sex tape. Somewhere between the high-pitched moan that comes out of Williams mouth and the fake blowjob which ends with Siska's hair tangled in Ryland's fly, Pete, who's crammed happily next to Nate and some-guy-Mike-knows, giggles uncontrollably and so hard that he hits himself in the face with his beer can.

"Guys, guys," he says, wheezing and hitting himself again. Sisky finally gets his hair free and the four who were previously re-enacting the sex tape, that they have maybe watched too many times, put all their attention on Pete. "Girls," Pete adds as an after thought, glancing around the room. There's a moment of buzzing silence where everyone waits for Pete's obviously-amazing-revelation, but then Pete gets this dazed look on his face and he slowly starts drifting away, staring intensely at absolutely nothing. There's a huge chorus of groans in the bus, and it immediately shakes Pete out of his thoughts because there's like 1200 people on this bus (but only 1199 groan because Brendon being from the species of idiot he is tries to find what Pete was intensely staring at.). "Oh, yeah. Guys, girls, com padre, amigos, santi ! Wouldn't it be fucking hilarious if one of us made a sex tape?" And he genuinely seems to think it's the funniest thing in existence. There's a slow, vibrating silence. Until everyone goes back to ignoring Pete and his dumb-ass tendencies.

The next day Pete hijacks Patricks computer whilst he's immersed in the adventures of Super Mario Bro's and checks his e-mail. There's spam, spam, porn, spam, William Beckett, Viagra, Decaydance, spam. He checks the porn first, obviously, and then skims over the subjects of the messages and kind of gasps/sobs/wheezes when he sees what the subject to Bill's e-mail is.

From: kill_bill@gmail.com
To: Peterpanda@decaydance.com
Subject: wouldn't it be fucking hilarious if one of us made a sex tape?
Attachments: picture 101.JPG, picture 199.JPG

i took your idea and ran with it. enjoy, petey. courtesy of jonny walker.
~billvy.

Pete clicks the attachment links maybe 7000 times because oh my God they are not downloading fast enough. The first picture is black and white and steamy and sultry and holy crap Pete wants to crawl inside of it.

Williams straddling Gabe, his spine arched over as he folds his body to press his mouth to Gabe's. They're both only wearing jeans, Gabe's fly all the way undone with Williams hand splayed over his hipbones and the tips of his fingers tucked under the waistband. Gabe's smiling into William's mouth, his hand cupping William's chin and Pete is suddenly painfully aware of how hard he's clutching the edge of his laptop. He's alone in the front lounge of the bus, the rest of the band scattered somewhere else, so he pries his hand off the laptop and manages to catch his breath to look at the other picture. This ones in black and white, as well, and Pete tries to take a moment to notice how well the picture is focused, how the corners look kind of burnt and how well the two figures are composed. But, quite honestly, this is one of the hottest things he's ever seen, and he's seen Vicky-T's thigh and Spencer Smith drumming. They're in the same position this time, but both completely naked and William's back is arched the other way as he rides Gabe. Both of their heads are flung back, the picture catching William in mid-cum, with his hand wrapped tightly around his dick and his jaw slack where as Gabe's pushing his hips up and his back his arching off the bed, his head forced back into the pillows. There's sweat all over their bodies and cum splattered on Gabe's chest and Pete is so, so turned on right now. And so determined to beat them. He grabs his camera from one of the shelves next to the TV and ventures towards Patrick.

From: peterpanda@decaydance.com
To: smiththefifth@gmail.com
Subject: your help is needed.
Attachments: picture 101.JPG, picture 199.JPG

spencer james smith v,
as you may, or may not, know, i am not good at losing. i am a winner, spencer smith. a winner. but, right now, i am on the edge of losing.
the edge of losing is too close for me.
you may remember my drunken ramblings last night.
i dont think anything more needs to be said. im sure you know how to work a video camera and i know for a fact brendons an exhibitionist.
examine the attachments. make me proud, son.

regards,
pete lewis kingston wentz III

p.s. before you ask, yes i did get rejected by patrick. he'll cave. eventually.

It's two days before Pete gets a reply. William and Gabe act normal towards Pete, act like they never sent anything and Spencer acts like he hasn't been sent an e-mail asking him to do a sex tape. But, as a day goes by William's smirk gets bigger by every hour no retaliation comes his way and Pete's maybe, maybe worried he's about to lose in this incredibly creepy game, until Spencer walks passed him backstage later that night with a grin and a video camera. It's around 4 AM, the time when Pete's thinking maybe he should finally sleep, when he refreshes his e-mail and finds Spencer's reply right at the top.

From: smiththefifth@gmail.com
To: peterpanda@decaydance.com, kill_bill@gmail.com, gabanti@aol.com
Subject: RE:your help is needed.
Attachments: the truth about brendons porno lips.avi

mission accomplished.

And then it escalates, and someone sets up a blog-type-website with a password and everything and it's like major battle-of-the-band-sex-tapes. It's hard to believe anyone could beat the Spencer and Brendon Tape, because, jeeze, Brendon can deep-throat and Spencer has the dirtiest mouth ever but then there's an Alex threesome from The Cab, Sisky and The Butcher, Ian from The Cab and Joe from Fall Out Boy, a TravieBillGabe threesome and when Jon's just about to upload the one of him and Ryan (which took forever because Ryan does not work well with a camera.) he refreshes the blog page quickly and there's a Greta and Vicky-T video, and his tape doesn't even compare. He cracks his knuckles, pops his neck to the side and thinks oh, it is so on.

(Which is a lot different to what Brendon thinks when he first see's the video. After finally remembering the password to the Incredibly-Creepy-Sex-Tape Blog, he downloads the file and right at the start is Vicky-T, legs wide open and a seductive grin on her face as her hand slides down under the lace of her panties. Brendon's face screws up into the Ew-Vagina face. Brendon has the volume muted, but he can see Vicky-T look behind the camera and say something, smiling, and then Greta moves out from behind it and up to the bed, wearing nothing from the waist down. And Brendon brain completely melts because, oh god, two vaginas and he frantically reaches to shut his laptop before he starts seeing boobs. And this, this is why people think he's scared of girls. He honestly thinks his dick has crawled inside his body from the horror of the Greta and Vicky-T sex tape, until Jon stumbles back into the bunks with a sheepish face, scratching at the back and he goes,

"So, hey. You know that Creepy-Sex-Tape war that's going on?" And Brendon nods because, duh. "Well... I was thinking. I was thinking maybe we could have a... Bandsome?" And, yes, his dick is definitely there.)

Then stuff really starts getting out of hand. Around a week after the completely epic Panic-Bandsom tape and 2 days after the Nate and Alex from Cobra tape, it gets out of Decaydance and on May 3rd there's a Frank Iero and Mikey Way sex tape gracing the pages of the Incredibly-Creepy-Sex-Tape Blog. And it's the hottest thing Michael Guy Chislett has ever jacked off too. More surprise visitors turn up and people like Armor for Sleep join in, and then they got some sick-ass-blood-play from Marilyn Manson and that's when they decide they need to get some rules.

(Brendon posts a blog an hour after the Manson post saying "The first rule of Incredibly-Creepy-Sex-Tape Blog Club is don't talk about Incredibly-Creepy-Sex-Tape". Which Ryan later replies to with, "Stfu Bden, it's all you ever talk about. That and your vagina nightmares.")

Over the time the blog is open no fans at all find it. It really fucking amazes them all, seeing as Cash from The Cab is always losing the password and the passwords been changed so many times that Mikey Way actually has to get a new shirt everytime they do it to remind people what it is (currently his shirt says Mike fucking Carden which fans love way too much, and if only they knew the truth behind it.). Honestly, Pete thinks this is the weirdest thing that has ever happened to the 'Band-Community' and he's seriously, seriously considering posting an entry ending the whole thing, saying that no-one was going to win because everyone just kept topping each other. Until he received the most important e-mail of his life.

From: pmstump@patrickstump.com
To: peterpanda@decaydance.com
Subject: (:

i caved.
your tape with ryan sucked. i can do so much better.
hotel night, i'll bring the lube, you bring the camera.

yours,
'trick.

It's intimate and adorable and so fucking hot and it beats every single sex tape on the Incredibly-Creepy-Sex-Tape Blog.

Doesn't mean people stop posting, though.

---
this is the most ridiculous thing ever. it's 2:41 am and i'm allowed to write stupid things, mmkay.

Friends Only

2007-06-21T06:52:21Z

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